Summer is an amazing time for dating, everyone is in a good mood and ready to go out and enjoy themselves, how can you make the most of the summer and have a great time dating?
1 Know what you want
Is it a relationship? Is it a summer romance? Perhaps you broke up from your long term relationship earlier in the year and you are wanting to get back in the swing of dating and have some fun, particularly if your last relationship wasn’t the best at the end. Whatever you are looking for, whether it be a fun summer or the start of something special, be honest, also check the person you are dating is on the same page…
2 Remember that all areas of your life are important
I sometimes talk with my clients about this using the metaphor of a cake made up of at least 7 or 8 different slices. These slices are made up of the many different areas of your life, i.e. friends, your career, hobbies, exercise, your family, self-development, spirituality, and… your personal life.
Remembering that your love life and the person you are dating is just one piece of the cake can pay dividends. Pay attention and invest in all the other parts of the cake. You had a life before you met them and you will have a life after them if need be. So instead, of trying to get all our fulfilment from just one piece, relax and remember our joy doesn’t have to come from just the one slice, we can get happiness from all the pieces of the cake.
3 Be Present
Nothing good comes if we are not present dating someone, when we are in the moment that is when we can build a great relationship with someone. If we keep jumping ahead, and thinking about when we will reach certain milestones, like when he will introduce us to his friends, we can make it less likely they will happen.
People can often sense when are not present, as we are not giving them out full attention and are instead focusing inwards and more on our own thoughts. Wouldn’t you want someone to be in the moment and fully focused on enjoying spending time with you? Staying calm, staying present, enjoying the present moment and having fun is how an amazing relationship starts.
4 Have fun
Make fun a priority, that’s what relationships in the summer are meant to be right? I.e. picnics, outdoor concerts, festivals, outdoor movie. If we keep thinking we need to meet someone because all of our friends have already met someone and we don’t want to be left on our own, that’s not fun. It’s a pressure and it can motivate us to take action. However, how productive is dating with that kind of pressure….
Better still, think how can I have fun dating and getting to know new people? Questions like this increase the like likelihood that we will enjoy dating and if we have a good time dating we are more likely to get what we want. Everyone, including ourselves is much more attractive when we are having fun!
Happy Summer Dating
Human Connections London
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