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A Guide To Dating Without Dating Apps

The seemingly elusive art of meeting people IRL.

Why most people are baffled when you let them know that you actually met your boyfriend using a pretty old school method: live.

We are not hating on dating apps but some people are better at live meetings than chatting online, read 100 dates and a wedding for more insight.

Dating apps definitely increase the pool of potential romantic partners, but they somehow feel limiting, too. People tell me that with every swipe they lose a bit more hope, which is hard to come to terms with when most would rather not be on dating apps at all.

Luckily, meeting people in-person doesn’t have to be an elusive endeavour. I know it sounds hopeless, but it’s completely viable to still meet potential partners without dating apps. If you want to date people you meet IRL and are having trouble, try using these tips:

Go Out Into The World

I can tell you one thing that’s for sure: you’re not going to meet someone while sitting on your couch watching Netflix — unless your sink breaks and your cleaner is looking good.

You have to get out into the world and do more. This method is how you meet more people in general, but it’s also how you’re going to meet someone that could turn out to be a future romantic partner.

Plus, if you go out and do things you love — concerts, yoga classes, Star Wars Fanfic workshops — you’re going to find someone who automatically shares an interest with you.

Turn Off The Screen And Look Up

Nowadays, people tend to fill their idle time with social media. Instead, peel your eyes away from your phone and look up into what’s going on around you and smile! Your chances of meeting someone when you’re out living your life significantly decrease if your attention is continuously being given to your phone. Nothing says, “I’m not interested in talking,” quite like scrolling through Instagram.

At the very least, appreciate the present and what’s going on around you. Make simple chit chat with others that aren’t preoccupied with their screens. You never know when that person might be someone you spark an interest with or one of his or her friends.

Shoot Your Shot

Talking to strangers can be intimidating, even more so if you’re attracted to them. But if you don’t shoot your shot, you’re going to miss every chance at meeting someone potentially special. Back when I was single, I went to a hot yoga class at a new studio. It had been quite some time since I did hot yoga, and about ten minutes in, I felt very light-headed.

I stepped out of the class to take a breather. That’s when I got to chatting with the guy that worked at the front desk. We instantly connected over our obvious common interest, yoga. But then the class ended, I left, and that was that. I got home and instantly regretted that I hadn’t asked that guy for his number. I went back and forth with myself and finally decided to call the studio.

Low and behold, the guy answered. I asked him if he’d like to grab dinner sometime, and he was flattered. We went on a few dates after that, too. Things didn’t pan out between us, but at least we gave it a try. Had I not called the studio, I always would’ve wondered.

Meet Your Friend’s Friends

Meeting people through your friends is one of the smartest moves to make in dating. You know you like your friends, so chances are you’re going to like who they choose to spend their time with, too.

Alert: be sure your friend wants the best for you. I will always remember when my so-called friend introduces me to this no-my-style-at-all friend only on the basis that we both looked "exotic". I could not feel more depreciated that day.

Say Yes More

In congruence with agreeing to more plans with your friends and getting out of your apartment, just say yes to more invitations.

When your friends have a party, go. When your friends go out, tag along. Better yet, when you make plans with your friends, ask them to invite their other friends.

You might think your co-worker’s house warming party or uncle’s birthday sounds cringe-worthy, but being sociable is the only way you’ll meet new people in real life.

Don’t Be Afraid Of Rejection

Unlike dating apps, people don’t wear a sign around their neck, letting you know their relationship status. That’s probably going to be your biggest hump. Still, you just have to go for it and know that someone being in a relationship already might be something you encounter.

But luckily, the more you’re rejected, the easier it gets.

The same goes for if they’re just not interested in you. Honestly, if someone shows disinterest from the get-go, at least you’re not invested. There are a million reasons why someone might not be into you; just try not to take any of it personally.

Use us!

We are here to help you. A matchmaker will help you organise your dates with matches. She will act like your best friend that wants the best for you. Click here for more info.

Good luck to you all!

By Kirstie Taylor and Human Connections

#datingassistant #relationshipblog #humanconnectionslondon #june2020

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